Wizarding Paintball
by Draco's Ravenclaw
Summary: Can you imagine what would happen if Hogwarts had an inter-house paintball tournament?? Enjoy.
1. Paintball..Wizard paintball???

  
Wizarding Paintball  
  
There were whoops of delight from the muggle borns after Dumbledore had finished reading the announcement. "The tournament will be organised by myself and the heads of house. Be sure to have a counter stain charm on the robes, Prefects can you organise that for the younger ones". He paused to let the uproar die down "Most of all" he said looking deadly serious "Have fun!".  
"What's paintball?" Ron asked as they filed out of the Great Hall towards Gryffindor Tower. Harry and Hermione were chattering excitedly and ignored him. "I'll check the library for special charms, there should be some on colours and wands" Hermione said speaking quickly and quietly as they passed the Slytherins. "Yeah" Harry added scowling at Malfoy "I can't wait to hit Malfoy straight in his big fat smirking face, I'll...." Ron was exasperated "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" He shouted, and instantly went red as the whole of Gryffindor  
turned to stare at him. "You haven't heard of paintball?" Hermione said looking puzzled. Harry suddenly clapped a hand to his head. "Of course Wizards don't play paintball" He launched into a loud and vigorous explanation, with lots of wild gestures for emphasis.  
By the end Ron was just as enthusiastic as the other two. "Of course we won't use guns, just wands" Harry added. "We could enchant the paint to chase Malfoy" Ron snickered. "Don't worry about that" Harry grinned "We'll deal with him personally".  
Over the next few days no one talked about anything else. Professor Flitwick had to levitate himself so that the students would pay any attention. "It's very frustrating" he complained later to Professor MacGonagall "to have people talking over your head and ignoring you. I am tempted to ask Serverus for a shrinking potion. Fred and George Weasley certainly deserve it!"  
The first match was between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. Ron and Harry stared glumly out of the window in Transfiguration. "Wish I was in Ravenclaw" Harry muttered. "Yeah" Ron grinned "You'd be closer to Cho!". "Shut up!" Harry punched Ron gently on the arm. They went back to transfiguring a table into a donkey, their minds still on the upcoming game. Gryffindor were going to play the winner of this match. If they won then they would face Slytherin and Harry badly wanted to get back at Malfoy.  
Harry wandered back to the Gryffindor common room. He mentally went through the charms they were going to use to fight the match. They had worked out a way to get the paint to laugh when tickled so that it was much harder to hide in the thick bushes.  
Hermione came in through the portrait hole and went quickly over to Harry. "Ravenclaw lost" she said gleefully. "We're playing Hufflepuff"


	2. The Badger and the Lion were fighting fo...

The Badger and the Lion were fighting for the Crown  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the stuff to do with it, that honour falls to J.K Rowling,Bloomsbury and Warner Bros  
  
The next few days were filled with anticipation. The usual friendliness between the houses of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff was replaced with barely controlled hostility. Both houses wanted to win and get a chance to paintball Slytherin red.  
Hermione had surpassed her previous record for creativity and had found even more interesting charms to cast. She, Ron and Harry were often to be found practising, guarded by Nick who sent all non-Gryffindors packing.  
"Lumenaturs Giallo" A splodge of yellow goo spouted from Harry's wand and hit the opposite wall. It slid slowly down the stone to form and indistinct blob on the floor. "I thought it was supposed to glow." Harry sighed, his arm was aching and he wanted some sleep. "Well it would if you'd just get the pronunciation right!" Hermione snapped. "How many times do I have to tell you, it's LuMENaturs. The emphasis is on the men bit." Harry growled, exasperated, "I'm tired, I'd get it right if I wasn't nearly asleep and if you'd stop going on at me!" They were interrupted by a loud snore from Ron, who'd finally given up and gone to sleep. Hermione grinned. "Alright point taken, we'll go back now. But just remember to get it right tomorrow or you'll be the next Mr Blobby" She gathered up her books and rolls of parchment and they made their way back up to Gryffindor tower.  
  
Five minutes and 10 flights of stairs later they emerged into the Great Hall. As they crossed the huge room they passed by a group of Slytherin and Ravenclaw. Their robes were spattered with paint and it was obvious they'd just returned from a match. Among them was Cho Chang sitting with her back to them. Harry swallowed and went over to say hi. Harry felt himself going red and cursed quietly. "H..Hello Cho" She turned round to see who had spoken and Harry barely managed to surpress a snort of laughter. "What happened?" He asked trying very hard not to smile. Cho's face was flashing all the colours of the rainbow. It was currently a violent shade of orange but it was slowly shifting to a nice Scottish tartan. "Someone's charm went wrong" she said smiling slightly. "You can laugh, I did myself when I saw". Harry grinned "When is Madame Pomfrey getting to you?" Cho looked resigned "She already did, she says it'll have to wear off by itself. It should be gone by tomorrow." "Well speaking of tomorrow I have a Hufflepuff to gunge and I need my sleep, I'd better get going" "Alright" said Cho fluorescent orange spots dancing around her eyes "Goodluck"  
When they entered the common room both the boys collapsed into chairs by the roaring fire. Hermione disappeared off with Lavender and Parvati. The Weasley twins came over and pulled up chairs. "Alright you two?" Fred said grinning all over his freckled face "Has Hermione been working ickle Ronni too hard??" Ron was just about to point out that he was no longer ickle and that Mrs Weasley hadn't called him Ronni since he was three when he stopped and stared. "Stand up" He said sounding slightly puzzled. The twins did as he said both looking curious. Next Ron stood by them. "Harry is it my eyes or are they shrinking?" It was true the Weasleys were a couple of inches shorter than normal, what was more they seemed to be getting smaller. Both the twins looked panicked "Snape!" said George "We'll kill him" Fred glowered. The two of them were now about five feet tall. The entire Gryffindor common room was laughing as they practically ran for the hospital wing. "Ron , we're leaving you in charge, start planning how to set off 15 dungbombs in the potions lab" shouted Fred as they swerved round a corner and headed for Madame Pomfrey  
  
When they hadn't returned by 11 O'clock people got bored and decided to call it a night. Harry tossed and turned for half an hour before slipping into dreams of Malfoy covered in blue paint with the whole school laughing at him when it wouldn't come off.  
  
The next day at breakfast the Gryffindor table was in uproar. Charms were being exchanged and plans and alliances formed to take down Hufflepuff. The two tables seemed to be trying to win a multi-player staring contest and you could almost taste the excitement. Finally when the last vestiges had vanished Professor Sprout rose and began conducting the two houses outside to the playing area.  
  
"Gryffindor and Hufflepuff will proceed out in an orderly fashion" She bellowed over the sea of exited students. Harry excitedly placed the counter- stain charm over his robes. As he left the hall the small first years were being lined up ,giggling, to have the charm placed for them.  
They all strode out to the playing area. Hufflepuff were unusually confident. After their surprise victory over Ravenclaw they were up and ready to paste the great Gryffindor.  
  
MacGonagall was waiting for them at the edge of the Forbidden forest. "Remember to stay within the limits, the forest is dangerous. You have two minutes to prepare within the playing area, when you hear the 1st whistle you may begin, when you hear the 2nd whistle STOP" she said staring pointedly at several over zealous Gryffindor first years. "Now, go!"  
  
Harry leapt into the dense foliage, his heart pounding. A few yards ahead he found himself a nice hollow under a clump of creeping nightshade. Looking around carefully so no one would see him he lay down and waited. There was a shrill whistle. Harry remained motionless pressed against the ground. Through the leaves and bushes nearby came the sound of feet. Harry seriously thought his heart was going to come through his chest. He lifted himself a fraction and peeked through. Great! he thought, a Hufflepuff was in the clearing and he hadn't noticed Harry. Taking his chance Harry leapt out of hiding "Spectrum Viola Vocat" he yelled. A huge spurt of purple paint landed on the front of the surprised boy's robes. "Spectrata Verda", another dose of green paint hit the Hufflepuff. Not wanting to risk much more Harry turned and ran. He dived under an old tree and waited. Suddenly a peal of hysterical laughter erupted from about 20 yards away. Harry pulled out his wand, silently blessing Hermione for her research. He froze against the ground "Lumenaturs Giallo" he fired a jet of fluorescent yellow paint at the would be ambusher. He was about to charge forward and try out a few more charms when to his surprise he fell forward. Someone had tripped him. Before he had time to react the boy he'd hit and the girl who'd tripped him had him pinned to the ground. A group of five Hufflepuffs stepped out of the bushes. It looked like most of them had been hit a few times but they all had big grins on their faces. "Harry Potter" said one with a manic glint in his eye "Didn't expect this chance" Harry groaned as they raised their wands and encircled him. "Viola tittilandus!" Harry was covered in a blob of purple paint. He reached for his wand but then realised the paint was moving. It was tickling him. He lay there helpless with laughter while he was decorates better than any modern art picture he'd ever seen. The Hufflepuffs were about to try out yet another charm when a very welcome voice shouted out a series of complex charms. Each Hufflepuff was knocked down and covered in a multitude of paint colours.  
  
"Ron, am I glad to see you" Harry choked out in between his helpless laughter. "What did you do to them?" Ron grinned, just a nifty trick I picked up from Fred and George. Instant rock solid paint. Dad wasn't to happy when they covered our Muggle neighbours cat on holiday." They tramped through the forest looking for Hufflepuff. They found and rescued a group of Gryffindor 2nd years from a tribe of Hufflepuff 1st years who only knew how to send pink paint. Just as Ron had finished the tickling charm on the last one a whistle blew. "Is it over already?" Harry said disappointed. "I am sure that wasn't 45 minutes." But it was the match was over. On their way out Harry and the other stricken with the tickling charm had to be helped out. They finally emerged out clutching at the stitches in their sides and collapsed onto the green meadow thankfully. Hermione hurried over. Her robes were spotless. "Oh you should have seen" she giggled her face flushed. "I used a gluing charm on the paint and then covered them. It was so funny, Justin all tangled up in a tree" "Who won?" asked Harry. "We'll know in a second, they'll total up the amount of paint that hit target out of each wand and then declare a winner" Ron said.   
  
Indeed this was true MacGonagall came and collected all their wands so that they lay in a pile. She then came round each of the Gryffindors and removed their paint blobs with a curt "Emulsify" There were a few cases of charms and spells gone wrong, someone was dribbling blue paint out of his ears and nose and another girl had met the same fate as Cho.  
  
After about 15 minutes Proffesor MacGonagall stood and asked for silence. It took a few loud bangs but she got it. "The wands have been checked and the scores totalled. The winner by a clear margin is......" She paused for effect smiling at the earnest looks on the students faces. "Gryffindor!!!" All of the silence was shattered. Cheering and catcalls filled the air and Harry spotted two Hufflepuff girls burst into tears. "The match will be held next week at the same time, goodluck" Professor MacGonagall seemed very proud. "Now will the prefects see that everyone is up at the castle for lunch while Professor sprout and I clear the area.  
  
Their legs were tired and they were bruised but they were very happy. The Gryffindors were on cloud 9. Harry couldn't wait to see Malfoy's face when he found out they had won. Not even double potions after lunch could spoil his mood.  
  
Well people what do you reckon.....review plllleease. Constructive criticism as well as praise is allowed ;)  
Malfoy's Girl  
  
  



	3. When houses collide

  
When Houses Collide   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff that honour falls to J.K Rowling,Bloomsbury and Warner Bros  
  
Author talkin here!! Ok I am sorry this was only meant to be a v.short story for my lil sis who like me is Potter starved....however since it is now a biiig net story I am sorry for makin it so long. Don't worry this is the last bit. We'll see what happens when houses collide.............hehehehe scroll down for the final match.  
  
"Toad Rat!". "Mudblood Lover!" Two voices echoed loudly in the charms corridor shattering the peace of the lessons nearby. "At least I'm not a strange loner with only SNAKES to talk to!". There was an audible pause and the second voice purred silkily "Oh is that the best you can do Godric, my heart is crushed" The painted mouth of Salazar Slytherin twisted in a smirk. The two portraits faced each other across the corridor. Godric Gryffindor was scarlet in the face from yelling. "You snake heated m....."  
  
At that moment the door to the charms classroom was flung open and an extremely irate Professor Flitwick emerged. It took a few moments before he could produce anything but an outraged squeak. Finally he gathered himself together "Will you two kindly BE QUIET" he bellowed. "For founders of a school you seem to care little about disturbing the process of education." Godric looked sheepish and muttered something that sounded distinctly like "old snake mouth started it." Slytherin, however, turned to face Flitwick his face twisting nastily. "Well I must say you make a good head of Ravenclaw, Rowena was so like you, short, opinionated and a ceaseless know it all." Flitwick seemed to swell "That is ENOUGH" he growled. Pulling out his wand he muttered "Taitoisium" A small gag appeared in the scene of both pictures. Flitwick smiled with satisfaction and turned back to the classroom unaware of the affronted looks the two pictures were giving him.  
  
Half an hour later the bell rang for lunch and a crowd of 3rd year Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors poured out of charms. As they passed by the portraits Elizabeth Nightcreeper stopped. "Why has Godric Gryffindor been gagged?" The girl she was with, Jane Dorian shrugged "must've been them we heard arguing she said motioning to the opposite portrait. Elizabeth scowled "he's the founder of our house, I won't let him suffer this indignity!" She drew out her wand and pointing at the picture performed the Finite Incatum" The gag vanished and Godric beamed down at the Gryffindors. "Thanks young' uns"   
  
The spell had also been reversed on Slytherins portrait. His eyes glittered angrily. "Is that how you want your house to behave Godric? Help a fellow Gryffindor before another?" The paintings seemed about to have another screaming match when a perfectly aimed jet of green paint hit Salazar's portrait. He had been just about to say something and consequently got a lot of the sticky green goo in his mouth. As he sputtered and choked Godrics painting began shouting encouragement and more paint filled the air hitting the ancient canvas. In the resulting chaos and confusion a group of Slytherins came from the opposite direction and merrily joined in the fray.  
  
"And then Proffesor Vector came along and caught them all at it" Hermione laughed. "He'd asked me to come back to class to discuss some work and I saw the whole thing" The Gryffindors were all crowded round Hermione as she told what she'd seen. "You should've been there, all the painting dripping with paint, Godric and Salazar screaming at each other..." "Is the match still on piped up a small first year. "Yes, thank goodness, Professor Flitwick is having them all back to clean the paintings by hand tomorrow night though"  
"Good" said Ron darkly "I've been up past midnight learning the hexes I'm going to use on Malfoy.  
  
The match between Slytherin and Gryffindor was due to take place on Friday. Before the incident in the charms corridor the rivalry had been barely controlled. Now that both houses were convinced that the other had insulted their founder it only took one wrong look before curses, hexes and paintballs began flying.  
  
Finally the bell rang for tea on Thursday. The Gryffindors and Slytherins were looking daggers at each other across the Ravenclaw table. Fred and George seemed oddly distracted. Their eyes remaining fixed on the Slytherin table. "What's up with you two?" Ron asked after the third time Fred had brought an empty fork to his mouth. "Hmm?" Fred said jerked abruptly out of his daydream "Oh nothing, nothing" he smiled slightly and turned back to George. "Where did Dobby put them?" he hissed "In the main course now shut up or you'll give it away!" Ron turned back to Harry and shrugged, must be some joke they're planning. He pushed his soup bowl away and it promptly vanished and was replaced by a heaped bowl of Spaghetti Bolognase.  
  
They returned to their tea but a few minutes later they were startled by sudden loud pops, squeaks and cries of horror coming from the direction of the Slytherin table. About thirty of the Slytherins had turned into large toads. They were causing chaos, hopping in panic and upsetting dishes. Harry turned to look at Fred and George, a small smile twitching at his mouth. Both of the winked at him and began to hoot with laughter as Draco Malfoy was replaced by a large and very surprised toad. The uproar lasted for several more minutes, whatever Fred and George had done it was, like the canary creams, only temporary. One by one the toads gave a deep croak and resumed their normal appearance. Malfoy stared across at them, two red spots of anger flaming on his high cheekbones. Dumbledore assured the Slytherins that no further transformations would take place and tea then proceeded in peace.  
  
When they had all eaten what they could the food vanished and Dumbledore stood to make the announcements. The hall was quickly hushed into silence. "I would like to thank Fred and George Weasley for that fascinating demonstration of transfiguration charms, however, wishing to keep the school in one piece I would ask that there are no further incidents of this nature. I am afraid that would lead to the cancellation of tomorrow's match. Thankyou that is all"  
  
The houses rose and filed out of the great hall. The Slytherins managed to get in a few sneaky charms to get their revenge. Fred got on the wrong end of a body bind and George was hit by a particularly strong puppeteer charm. "It was worth it to see half of Slytherin turn into toads" He grinned as he jerked and cartwheeled his way back up to their common room.  
  
The next morning dawned bright and sunny. Thanks to Dumbledore's warning breakfast passed without any flying paint or toads interrupting it. However the tension was still there and dark looks were being exchanged. Snape and MacGonagall stood ready for the match. "The paintball match will take place as previously" Snape hissed. Harry got the feeling he didn't approve of letting students throw paint around rather than learning. "If there is any disruption on the way down you will ALL be in detention and I will see that the troublemakers are expelled. On that happy note the two houses began to make their way out to the Forbidden Forest, scowling at each other.  
  
The start was just as before. Hermione got ready, winked at Rona and Harry, and the ran into the forest. Her heart was going like a piston. One or two Slytherins crossed her path but she saw them all off easily. There was no sign of Malfoy. "Great!" she muttered "He pops up wherever I don't want him and when I finally do want him I can't find him." Her train of thought was halted when something slimy and cold hit the back of her neck. "Well, well Mudblood" a cold voice drawled "fancy finding you without your boy friend" It was Malfoy. She bit back and insult and mentally sketched out where Ron and Harry had planned to hide. She turned to face him and then ran. "See the molared mudblood flee" Malfoy grinned wolfishly and began to follow her. Charms and spells were whizzing past her head and hitting nearby trees. "Now then..." She murmured "I should trip....here!" She screamed to let Ron and Harry know she'd arrived and then went tumbling forward.  
  
The three Slytherins surrounded her. Malfoy was smirking but Crabbe and Goyle just looked gormless. Just as another paint spurt issued from Malfoy's wand there were two neat splats followed by agonised yells from Crabbe and Goyle. They had both received a dose of paint to the face and were blundering round blindly. They couldn't see where they were going at all and Malfoy's shouted instructions confused them even more. Eventually they blundered into each other and were knocked out cold.  
  
"Who did that, where are you?" Malfoy was ignoring Hermoine now and was instead scanning the trees for the attacker. She stood up quietly and raised her wand "Viscosia Verde!" Sticky green goo shout out all over Malfoy, pinning his wand arm to his side. "Glue charm" Hermione smiled "you're going no where fast" Harry and Ron now emerged to face Malfoy. "Weasley!" he raged struggling to free himself "When my father...." Ron advanced on Malfoy his wand raised "Come on Malfoy" he said lightly "It's just a harmless paintball game, Impedimenta!" Malfoy's feet were now enclosed in a case of Ron's quick drying paint. He looked definitely nervous now and was trying to squirm out of the paint and free his arm. "Well Malfoy it seems you are in a sticky situation" grinned Harry "Giallo tittilandus" The yellow paint spattered Malfoy and he struggled to keep his balance as they tickling paint made him shriek with laughter. For a while they stayed firing spells at Malfoy until he looked more like a pillar of paint than a wizard. "Potter!" he gasped "You'll pay for this." "Yeah, well not today come on let's leave Malfoy to hop out of here on his own." They turned to leave when Ron suddenly smiled mischievously. "I've got the best idea" He shouted out the weirdest sounding spell Harry had ever heard. "You'll love this" he winked "I saw it in Valentine Hexes for your exes, I've been dying to try it"  
For a moment Malfoy couldn't feel anything different. "Well you're a poor excuse for a......" he stopped . He could feel a strange fluttery sensation in his stomach. He opened his mouth to ask Ron what he'd done when he suddenly burped out several pink and red hearts. He looked so amazed that all three Gryffindors cracked up laughing. "Weasley what have you done to me!" He demanded and then promptly spat out a mouthful of foul tasting pink goo. As they turned to leave Malfoy shouted after them "Don't (hic) leave (hic) now, I'll (cough) get you!!"  
  
"What was that hex you put on him?" Hermione giggled as they heard the whistle sound and began to make their way out. "Oh it's called the lovesick hex, it only lasts for an hour or so" They were still laughing about the look on Malfoy's face when they emerged back onto the grass to have their robes cleaned off. Malfoy had to be rescued by Professor MacGonagall and had to endure the laughter of Gryffindor house as he was brought out, still burping hearts.  
  
They were now waiting for the scores to be totalled. Snape was in a foul mood and swept over to the Slytherins looking as if he wanted to kill. "Emulsify!" he roared and a huge ball of paint collected in mid-air. The ball was to huge and Snape began to lose control as he frantically tried to get it to move over the hole provided the ball dropped. It covered Snape from head to foot. The marble colours swirling prettily as even professor MacGonagall fought to keep a straight face and help him.  
  
"I wouldn't mention paintball to Snape for a while" Ron said groggily as they drifted off that evening. "Not to the rest of Slytherin either" put in Seamus. "I thought Blaise looked cute with pink hair" Lee Jordan said lightly. "Well one thing's for sure I have never seen them more mad to lose a match with Gryffindor" Harry sniggered. He lay back in his bed and decided that the paintball match was by far the best thing to have happened to him yet in his time at Hogwarts. "At least so far" he mumbled as he drifted off to sleep.  
  
Ok that is it my first fic finished and done. Please let me know what you think....and look out for more cause this has started a brand new hobby for me. :)  
  
Malfoy's Girl  
p.s I am sorry for the cruelty to Draco, but it had to happen I needed comedy. I will be nice to him in my next story.  
  
  
  



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